I Stopped Shopping My Way to Resilience. It’s All About your Mindset.

Freedom isn’t purchased, it’s practiced.

If your friend gives you a jar of homemade jam as a present at Christmas-time, or a special tea that she made herself, are you excited to try it or do you turn up your nose at it?

At Christmas, my granddaughters had more fun playing with a used Barbie beach house and horses they got from the thrift store than they did with their gifts purchased from Amazon.

I used to give honey from the Monastery to friends, my priest, deacon, and others from church for Christmas. But the monasteries in the Southwest have been affected by bee colony collapse, especially being so close to almond country, and they even have to buy beeswax to make candles because their hives are not producing.

Now I give local honey from a guy I know at the farmer’s market. His honey is raw, unfiltered, creamy honey. It has cinnamon-like tones. It is the best honey I have ever tasted. I sent some to my friend Joseph (Homestead Padre) and he said it almost tasted like Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Maybe we should get back to giving personal gifts or handmade gifts.

Going out to eat became a status symbol for me

I grew up in the second largest town in Iowa. In the late 70’s and early 80’s people didn’t go out to eat very much – usually just on the weekends.

Sure, there were fast food restaurants and Perkins along the highway. But most medium to large size restaurants were locally owned. No Olive Garden.
My family was relatively poor. When I was older and had a good job I struggled with my money and my weight because going out to eat became a status for me – like I had “arrived”.
Then I realized that I could make some of the same dishes at home, with better ingredients (and less or no seed oils).

What happened when I stopped using going out to eat as therapy and I learned to make it myself

I really liked Firecracker chicken from a Cajun restaurant. Then the person from the restaurant admitted that the sauce was apricot preserves mixed with hot sauce. And, of course, the boneless chicken was just fancy chicken nuggets (just like Buffalo Wild Wings). Now I could make it at home. I put it over rice and it was exactly the same.

“We should define ‘Progress’ as the number of meals I cook for myself at home.” – Perpend

I HATE vinegar. Then I tried my friend’s homemade vinegar. He let me borrow his book with recipes.

I made asparagus vinegar that was light and slightly sweet. And it was perfect for vinaigrette.

(Did you know – most store-bought white vinegar is made from wood cellulose and other non-food sources, so make your own!)

I made fermented soda. Same recipe as cider or mead. I used Nottingham Ale yeast and it made a rich taste. Just let it ferment for a couple of days to get bubbly.

So make vinegar. Ferment some sodas. Put up some jam. Start small with pints to figure out what you like, then scale up to quarts. Now you’ve got gifts, barter items, and something to bring to gatherings that isn’t store-bought. Plus you’re learning actual skills instead of just getting better at shopping.

Grow it yourself

My favorite peppers are Cajun fish peppers. I grow those and some jalapenos (maybe a little Hatch pepper) and I make a pepper seasoning blend. I put it on eggs and in chili and just about anything. I gave it to friends. They come back and ask for more!

In Kansas we do not have “April showers bring May flowers”; we have drought followed by May and June thunderstorms, then more drought.

I bought trees from online nurseries that died in Kansas, so I learned how to grow chestnuts and hazelnuts from seed, adapted to my land and the crazy Kansas climate. I got so good at it that I now have a tree nursery – Grow Nut Trees – with locally adapted nut trees.

My chestnut tree with it’s first chestnuts

Buy chestnuts and hazelnuts with Midwest Memory, adapted to Midwest Zones 5 – 7:

I grafted Asian pears (that taste like butterscotch) onto the thorny Callery pears popping up everywhere in my pasture.

Buy tools that make you the “Go-to” guy in your community.

I want that tool. But I know that I have a bunch of tools that broke when I went the cheap route. Now I sell other stuff and save up to buy the better one, the one that will last.

Be known in your small community group as the guy who has that tool and let your friends borrow it.

“The guy that has the tools that are good… you can be that guy.” – Perpend

We have shared an apple press to make apple cider. For a large tree clearing day on the church property they needed chainsaws. I have a chainsaw (and I’m not afraid to use it).

For a gift, give your time. A voucher for four hours of help on a project expresses more real value than most store-bought items.

When is the last time you have heard: “Just go to the library”?

One of the surprising employee benefits at my current job is that the library delivers books to our office. I chuckled, thinking “who would use this?”. But I was wrong.

I admit that I haven’t been to the library in almost 30 years. The books were outdated. And the libraries in Wichita and Lawrence are basically Homeless Day Shelters.

But the Topeka, KS library is different. I get on their website and they have many of the recently published homesteading, gardening, or orchard books that I wanted to buy from Amazon. So now I check them out online, they deliver to my work, and I test drive them. If I really like them then I may buy them for my permanent library. But I have saved a lot of money by checking them out first.

Plus the Topeka library has rooms to reserve. I have recorded several face to face podcast episodes there. They even have a recording studio and video greenscreen studio.

I am Fighting the Good Fight

I am working to pay off my house before retirement. Most people approaching retirement have been “trading up” houses through their life and are nowhere near paying them off. I moved for a job, so I understand. But it is really hard to make a house payment during retirement (plus the property taxes). Doing my best to knock that number down.

Hunt down those pesky subscriptions.

So many subscriptions! I took inventory and found streaming subscriptions, website tool subscriptions, podcasts I no longer listen to. Made a change. Cleaned them out. Saved some change.

Consumer Culture Wants You Broke and Dependent. Change your mindset!

The consumer mindset isn’t just about spending money you don’t have—it’s a complete worldview that prevents resilient community, authentic relationships, and intentional living. And you can’t escape debt until you address why you’re buying in the first place: using your purchase for an emotional kick, status-seeking with others, confusing wants with needs, and letting advertisers set your priorities.

Freedom isn’t purchased, it’s practiced.

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